My father, Joseph E. Kabelis Jr., lived to the age of 63 when lymph node cancer took him from this reality and ushered him into the waiting arms of our Heavenly Father. Being married twice, he had 7 children in his first marriage, 3 in his second, for a grand total of 10 kids; by most people's reckoning he had a full life. I am number 8 of 10 (that's my Borg designation), the eldest of his second marriage, by a mere 10 minutes. I never considered that I was chosen to be born first, I always considered it some cosmic farce that landed me at the head of the exit line. And yet considering that God knew what he was doing that evening as my mother went into labor, I have to accept the fact that it was a divine appointment that called me forth before my twin.
Now, lest you read this and begin thinking that I'm making something of myself, be assured, I am not. Being a twin is an amazing blessing, but more than anything else, it is filled with mystery. Why did God chose to make two of the same person? And how is it that two people, genetically identical, growing up in the same environment...can be so completely different? What purpose is there in having two identical people? Well, questions like this have existed in my mind since I was very young and despite all the sources on this planet that claim to know the purpose behind being twins, I can't help but wonder what God's reason was for it. Anyway, I digress from the subject here, my father.
As the eldest son, my father entrusted me with his family. I betrayed that confidence and trust, and for many years went on to serve myself and my own selfish desires. I can make all sorts of excuses, that I was dealing with his death, that I was discovering my self, blah blah blah... but what it comes down to is that I was worried about one person. Me. How could father have trusted me with something so precious to him? Surely he must have had some idea what my life was going to be like. Looking back now, I wish I could take it all back, wish I would have taken my position more seriously. To be honest I didn't know that being the eldest was anything special, and I knew nothing about being a patriarch until I met Robert A. Johnson of Christian Training Center (CTC) when I was in my early thirties. Now, in my later thirties, I am trying to pick up the pieces of what is left and walk out what I know, and as God leads me, to rectify the past that haunts me.
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Please be aware that I am just a simple man trying to understand this life and the God that I serve. The postings on here are not the work of some schooled theologian, but the meditations of my heart and experiences that I have. I place them here in the hope that someone somewhere will be blessed by them. I welcome your thoughts and input. I would think it goes without saying that anything vulgar or blasphemous will not be posted. God Bless You and thank you for leaving your thoughts! O_o